Opening the Door to Freedom
by Duo Doy
Summary: NOT a happy fic. Basically, the events that occur several years after those in Outlaw Star, with the focus mainly on Jim. Please read and review, or read at least. :
1. For whom the Bell Rings

By Duo Maxwell  
  
Note: I do not own Outlaw Star, (I know! It would be cool if I did! And if I could make money off this story! And become a millionaire! And… well, while I'm dreaming I'd like a TV for my room.) Ahem or any characters, vehicles, associated with it. Clara McDougall is the idea of a friend of mine. Ah well, enough of that!

first, a little introduction. i think the first 3 chapters are horrible. the story really starts after that.

that's it. enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 1  
  
The ringing of a bell alerted Gene to a new customer.   
  
"Dammit, Jim, that's getting annoying!!!"  
  
"Shut up, Gene! I think it makes this place SO much more welcoming!"  
  
"Whatever," Gene trotted to the entrance casually. He closed his eyes and chuckled at the thought of hitting Jim over the head with that bell. He opened his eyes and glanced at the aqua green haired girl in the doorway. "Jim! Looks like your type!" he yelled behind him and cringed as the door closed behind her, making the bell tinkle.   
  
"What can I do ya for, ma'am?" Gene asked with mild amusement as he noted the small size of the girl. Definitely Jim's type he thought to himself. And that hair looks so familiar!   
  
"Are you Gene Starwind?" she asked coldly.  
  
His grin became cocky and his eyebrow raised, "The one and only!"  
  
"Then you can die."  
  
Gene opened his eyes wide in surprise as the girl brought a gun from her coat and fired. They opened more in pain as he felt a bullet scream through his chest. His lips barely mouthed the word, "Why?"  
  
"For killing my brother."  
  
Realization struck Gene harder than the bullet in his heart. He collapsed to the ground and remembered where else he'd seen that hair. "McDougall…" he whispered as his blood pooled on the floor.  
  
"Gene? What the hell was… Oh my-!!!" Jim descended the stairs to the front of the shop and gaped at the bloody corpse in front of him. "Who are you? Why did you do this?!" Jim screamed in anguish after checking his friend for negative vital signs.  
  
"I am Clara McDougall. Gene Starwind killed my brother. Now I have killed him."  
  
"You monster!!" Jim screamed and lunged at her throat. He was stopped by the bullet hole that appeared suddenly in his shoulder.  
  
"You're the monster. You killed my brother. I vowed revenge, and I'll fulfill it now."   
  
She aimed the gun at Jim's head and he winced. A low growl and a crash came to his ears, and he looked up. He felt a sharp pain from in his shoulder, but ignored it. Aisha had knocked the gun from Clara's hand and was wrestling with her. Jim picked up the gun and stared blankly at his fallen comrade again. "Aniki…"  
  
The girl screamed out and her eyes glowed. Clara's bionic arm reached up and tore the bewildered Ktarl Ktarl from her body. Aisha whimpered as she hit the floor with a thud.  
  
Jim picked Gene's caster from his jacket. He dropped the other gun he had found, loaded a #13, and aimed the Caster at Clara. She just looked longingly at him. Tears filled Jim's eyes as he began to pull the trigger.   
  
"Jim, NO!!" a voice shrieked from behind him. He turned to see Melfina at the top of the steps. "Why are you going to shoot that girl??" Clara took advantage of Jim's distraction and rushed him, the blades from her bionic arm making a swinging arc for the boy's neck.  
  
Jim sidestepped it and cut her arm off with a blade of his own. She yelped in surprise and turned on him. Her arm flopped around on the floor for a few milliseconds and was suddenly motionless. Jim again aimed at Clara. "Go ahead and kill me!" she yelled at him, "I'm worthless now, and I always have been!!!"  
  
Jim grimaced. His conscience was blaring that this was somehow wrong. He dropped the caster and jumped her. After pinning her to the ground, he tied her up and taped her mouth shut.   
  
Melfina watched with glassy eyes. "GENE!" she cried as she noticed the dead body on the floor. She ran to it and hugged it tightly, ignoring the blood that was staining her clothes. Aisha Clan Clan got up from her corner and limped to Clara. She smacked her until her cheeks turned red. Then the Ktarl Ktarl began to cry. She kneeled next to Melfina and glared at the McDougall girl through watery eyes.  
  
"Why did you do this?" Melfina asked Clara between sobs. The girl just stared into space. 


	2. A change of heart

That pretty much sets the mood for the rest of the story. warning: more major characters will die! anyway, like i said before, utter crap. this is still merely an intro, really..

* * *

Chapter 2  
  
Gene's funeral was a small one in an old wooden chapel nearby. They had cleaned the blood from his body and rested him in a golden coffin with a small window at the top, so you could see his face. His eyelids had been pulled down and his mouth had been closed. Melfina and Jim couldn't bear to look. Even some of the grown men (including, of course, Fred Luo) attending broke down. Jim felt two drops on his shirt and looked up. Through bleary eyes, he saw Suzuka on a rafter, head down, wearing a black kimono.  
  
On the way back Aisha had to drive, Jim was so hysterical. He cried "Aniki!" over and over. Melfina was in the same shape.   
  
Neither of them ate that night. The next morning Jim refused to leave the room he and Gene shared.   
  
They kept Clara tied to a chair in the kitchen. She was silent until a week later…   
  
"I'm a little hungry. Could you spare your prisoner some food?"   
  
Jim looked up in shock. He looked around and realized she was talking to him. He remembered that they hadn't fed her ever since she had walked in the door that fateful day… Jim refused the thought and went to the refrigerator. "What do you want?"  
  
"I'd like Fettuccini Alfredo, if you don't mind."   
  
Jim laughed a bit and answered, "How about some of my famous pancakes?"  
  
"I've never heard of them" she replied.  
  
"I was just…" he suddenly fully remembered the pain she had caused him. He stepped back a bit, as the events flashed before him again, like they had so many times before. His features hardened. "Why should I feed a murderer?"  
  
"You're the murderers. You killed my brother. You've killed many other people. Would you not have done the same thing to my brother had he killed Gene?"  
  
"You don't understand, Clara, Harry was…" it suddenly came to him that she didn't know what her brother was really like or how he really died. "Do you know how Har- I mean your brother- was killed?"  
  
"No. Just that it was at Gene Starwind's hands."  
  
Jim was shocked again. He felt sorry for her, however, and went to make the pancakes. He stiffly gave her the plate and sat down again. He was fiddling with a little dating game on a "Game Guy" handheld electronics system, when, for what seemed to be the 267,550th time, the computer dumped him. He threw his hands up in agitation. Clara watched him and asked, "Could you please untie me?"   
  
He stared at her.  
  
"I can't eat my food without using my hands."  
  
Jim's mouth formed a small 'O' and he untied the ropes that kept her arms bound to the chair. She grabbed a fork and ate the pancake ravenously. When she finished, she cleaned her mouth with a napkin and stared again at Jim with interest as he tried in vain to get a date. "May I try?" she asked.  
  
Startled, Jim jumped and looked at her again. He suddenly noticed that she had reddish brown eyes that seemed to peer through his skin. Aqua green hair had come undone from a pair of purple ribbons and red bands of beads, and flowed freely down her shoulders. She was gorgeous. He flickered back to the present and said, "Uh, sure, but I've had it for years and could never figure it out..."  
  
She took it from him abruptly and started pushing the buttons, figuring out what did what. Hardly 15 minutes later, there was a happy beeping noise from the Game Guy. She gave it back to him and shook her head in mock disgust. "You have to be more sentimental. Girls like that."  
  
Jim gazed from the game, which had a victory animation, to Clara, the game to her, game, her. He tossed it in the trashcan. "Whatever you say!"  
  
They smiled at each other and quickly looked down.  
  
"How old are you?" Clara asked Jim one day as they were having breakfast together. It had been 1 and a half months since Gene's death. Jim had untied Clara totally and she slept on a couch in the downstairs room. He had fixed her arm as well, but without the addition of blades or other weapons.  
  
"16," Jim, Aisha, and Melfina answered in unison. "How old are you?" Jim asked politely.  
  
"16."  
  
They resumed eating. The phone rang and Jim excused himself and went to answer it. "Starwind & Hawking Enterprises, we fix everything from tractors to relationships. How can I help you?" Jim wrote some notes on a piece of paper and replied, "Yes! Yes of course! Uh huh!…yup! Only the finest!… All my life!… Where did you say you were?…As soon as possible!" He put the phone down and turned to them, smiling brightly, "We may have gotten the break we needed!"   
  
"Well," Aisha said, after finishing her food, "I better get going. It seems like you don't need me around anymore." She pretended to pout but Jim and Melfina laughed, albeit in a restrained, odd way, and Melfina noticeably sadly. Aisha cracked and laughed too. Walking out the door, she said, "If you do need me, please don't hesitate to call!"   
  
Jim and Melfina nodded and Aisha left, the door closing silently behind her. Jim had taken the bell down and hung it in his room instead: he claimed that it was Gene's last wish.  
  
"What are you going to do today, Jim?" Melfina asked.  
  
"Some repair job. The guy's willing to pay pretty well if we get good parts."  
  
"That's great!" Clara said, a genuine happiness in her eyes, "can I come?"  
  
Jim had been trying hard to accept Gene's absence, and harder to accept that this Clara McDougall was as much of a victim as Gene. Reluctantly, he answered, "Sure."  
  
Jim drove them to a small farm where a giant robot loomed over a small barn. "Harvester machine," he remarked, "and it looks like an old model. It's in horrible shape, too. Ah well, I guess this is our stop."  
  
Clara nodded and got out when he parked the car. They both carried boxes of tools, equipment, and supplies with them.   
  
"It's about time you got here!" a smiling old man shouted from a doorway, "I was getting a little worried!"


	3. The final straw

Last crap-tastic chapter. thanks for pulling through this long. one more to go, then you can get into the real meat of the story!

* * *

Chapter 3  
  
For Jim, repairing the harvester was a breeze. It also took his mind off his sadness, even with Clara there. She was pretty good with machines too, which was a big help. Talking to her while he replaced the robot's casing, screws, oil, wheels, harvesting blades, and everything else that needed replacement made him feel more at ease. He worked almost as well as he usually did-before Gene's death. He also realized, from talking with the girl, that she was human. She was torn up over at first getting separated from Harry when she was young, and had always looked up to him. He had actually been decent then, it seemed. She was an orphan from then on. When, after years of searching for him, she heard that her brother had been killed, and then a rumor that it was Gene that killed him, she went almost insane. She related all this to Jim shamelessly, not caring about what he might think, and he began to feel a strange attraction to her. He began to admire her bravery and her forthright devotion to what she felt she had to do.  
  
They were just about finished when Clara spilled some oil on the shoulder of the great machine and slipped. Jim caught her, but both of them lost their balance. Clara fell face-forward onto Jim, and their lips met while they lay sprawled over the robot. Jim blushed deeply and helped her up as quickly as he could. She slipped again and he caught her-on balance this time. "Thank you, Jim" she said, and smiled. She too was blushing. Jim quickly let go of her arms, but they stared into each other's eyes for a while.  
  
"Can you believe it? 530 Wong!" Jim paraded victoriously into Starwind & Hawking with his newly earned money raised above his head. Clara followed quietly behind him.  
  
The place was empty. Puzzled, Jim looked around, but found no one. Hmm… Jim thought. "Maybe Mel went shopping for groceries?"  
  
Clara nodded, "Most likely."  
  
Jim went up to his room to put his money away, then came back down and flopped onto the couch. Clara sat next to him, and Jim turned on the TV. Subconsciously, Jim put his arm around Clara's shoulders. She snuggled closer to him as he did so, her eyes remaining on the TV screen. Jim jerked a bit as he realized what he was doing, but soon relaxed.   
  
Several hours later, after watching seven shows and a movie, Jim got up to answer the door. He pulled a gun from the side of the door, and realized not only how long Melfina had been gone, but also that Gene's caster was missing.   
  
Aisha came in when Jim opened the door. The moonlight blazed around her, silhouetting her against the sky. "Jim…" her eyes were wide, and her face was a mix of shock and utter sadness. "Melfina… she…"   
  
She didn't have to finish before Jim realized what had happened. "Where is she?!" he half screamed at, half asked the shaken Ktarl Ktarl. She took a while to respond, and hung her head.   
  
"She's gone. She used the caster…. a number…" she broke into sobs. She collapsed onto Jim's shoulder, and he fell to his knees.  
  
Clara merely sat staring from the couch.  
  
There was another funeral, but Jim didn't come. He didn't leave the house for a week. The morning after they heard about Melfina's suicide, Clara had left, leaving a short note on the kitchen table. It said that she had done what she had come to do, and that she was sorry for the trouble she caused. It explained that she never meant to hurt anyone, but the blind rage that had been building up since she was separated from Harry was too much for her to keep in. What struck Jim was that she had signed the note, "Love, Clara," and left a wad of money underneath the note to pay for her arm's repairs and her food.   
  
Jim grew incredibly thin, eating little and drinking nothing but water. He had received three major blows in less than four months, and was finally overcome by the emotional strain.   
  
He eventual closed Starwind and Hawking, removed the Outlaw Star from hiding, sold it, and drifted through space doing odd jobs. He purposely dropped contact with everyone he knew before, and put forth little effort to get to know anyone in his new, constantly changing surroundings. His money quickly ran out on shuttle fares, lodging, food, and alcohol, and he was forced to join a small band of outlaws. He changed his name to James Hawkwind, lost all of the humor and happiness that had once filled him, and forgot the love of a deep friendship. He joined an outlaw group, but they resented him for his great abilities at his young age.


	4. A new life

Now it really begins. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 4  
  
"Look, I'll give you 300 for them, and I'll wash your car next Wednesday."  
  
"Make it the next two Wednesdays."  
  
James massaged his temple. "Fine. But you're supplying the oil and cleaner."  
  
"I'll supply the oil, you supply the cleaner."  
  
James threw up his hands. "Alright, alright. I'll see you next Wednesday." He picked up the Caster shells from the counter and stowed them in his jacket.  
  
The old man behind the counter grinned at him almost mockingly. "Pleasure doing business with you, James!" Jim mumbled something incomprehensible (and probably offensive) under his breath as he pushed the door open and walked outside. There was a strong wind that nearly pulled him away; and it suddenly stopped when emergency maintenance crews covered it. It seemed that it was caused by a hole from either a gunfight or an accident. Either way, the asteroid Blue Heaven was probably losing a lot of air, and James surmised that he and the rest of "Bureck's Bandits" would be moving out again.   
  
It had been five years since Gene died. The events those many years ago still haunted James, and not a day went by that he didn't think of Gene, Melfina, or Clara. And when his thoughts came to Clara, he always wondered if, in different situations, they could have come closer. But then his head would start to hurt, and his heart would ache, and he would try to think of something else.  
  
He had gotten to think about them again, and James didn't realize where he was going until he was woken up from his thoughts in a bar and felt a hard countertop underneath his arms. But when James realized where he was, a wave of memory came over him and he was forced to leave.   
  
He would have to leave Blue Heaven anyway. He couldn't stand being there anymore.  
  
Actually, Blue Heaven had changed a lot since James and Gene, along with "Hot Ice" Hilda and Melfina, went to the asteroid to flee from space pirates. It had expanded, becoming more commercialized and hospitable. It even became subject to patrols by a newly instituted law enforcement group, and yet, this had done little to force all of the outlaws away. It was enough like what James remembered to bring back saddening and painful memories, but importantly, it was different enough to keep those memories from reappearing very often.  
  
James walked tiredly into the current residence of Bureck's Bandits: a seedy hotel in a shady part of the asteroid where the new "local law enforcement" was bribed to look the other way. He pulled out the caster and loaded a shell, making sure that all of the prostitutes and muggers he encountered in the hallways hugged the walls when he came near. The Bandits' door was ajar. James kicked it in and entered. Krent and Roban were engaged in a knife fight, and both were clearly drunk. The two were in their mid twenties and had long scraggly hair and beards of the same brown color; they were twins. They were jabbing playfully at each other, but missing by several feet. Neither seemed to notice, judging by their taunts and laughter. Bureck, the leader of the small group of outlaws, watched, amused, over a mug of Cerlin whiskey. He was a small, wiry man with short blonde hair and a smarmy-salesman kind of look about him. He could look nice if he wanted to, but he was so stoned then that it was impossible to tell.  
  
"I'm back," James announced, but no one responded. They never did, even when sober. The only time one usually got a response was if one of them was furious with you, so, in a way, James was glad. It seemed he wouldn't be getting yelled at that night.  
  
Since there didn't seem to be anything else to do, he sat down on a heavily stained stool and watched Krent and Roban. Roban managed to nick Krent on the arm, but that was the closest either of them got to one another. Bored, James turned to Bureck.  
  
"You know, there was another air leak again. We should get moving soon. Unless they can afford another atmospheric-"  
  
"WELL, O' COURSE WE SHOULD GET MOVING!" Bureck hollered. "WE DUN' WANNA GET SUCKED OUT IN-TAH SPACE 'ER SUFF-UH-CATE!" He took a swig of his whiskey, took a deep breath, and continued with some effort, "JAMES! AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE SMART ONE O' THE GROUP!" He took another swig. "A' LEAST MORE THAN KRENT AND ROBAN, ANYWAY." James looked over at the twins, who were totally unaffected by Bureck's outburst.  
  
A half hour passed before James got up, suddenly, unable to take anymore of Krent and Roban's antics or Bureck's yelling. "I'm going out."  
  
"WHELL… GUD RIDDANCE!" Bureck added, "…DAMN FREELOADER!"  
  
James kept his caster out as he left the building, and walked down the street. More prostitutes, pimps, and muggers came out, keeping a good distance away from him upon seeing his caster.  
  
James stopped in front of a door he often came to and knocked out a song. The door opened, and a woman's face poked out. "Whaddyawant?!" she asked gruffly.   
  
"It's James," he answered tiredly. "You busy?"  
  
"Jimbo!" he was pulled in. "Are you alright?!"  
  
"I'm fine, Karen. How are you?"  
  
She didn't answer. "Come in! Come in!"  
  
Karen was dressed in a skimpy nightgown that screamed of her occupation She was a pretty woman of average height, with dark brown hair that came to her shoulders and deep blue eyes that had seen more than their share of the dark side of life. He hugged her and rested his head on her shoulder.  
  
"Jim, are you sure you're all right?" she asked again.  
  
"Yeah…" he answered distractedly. She pulled him to her couch and sat him down, then left to get some drinks. James looked around.   
  
Her apartment was small, sparsely decorated, and dark, but was to James the best home he had known in years. He took off his jacket and folded it over the arm of a chair next to the couch, then lay his head back. He looked past his cheeks and saw a door surrounded by a soft red light to his right.   
  
Karen came back with some water for James and juice for herself. He took the water and drank it graciously. After downing it, James cleared his throat. "…How have you been?" he asked again.  
  
Karen's eyes brimmed with tears. She nearly launched herself at him and sobbed onto his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her gently and asked softly, "…again?" She nodded into his shoulder. He lay his head on hers and rubbed her back softly, easing his fingers gently over scars he felt cut into it through the sheer material. "Anything I can do?" he asked. She shook her head. James hugged her more tightly and sighed into Karen's hair.  
  
Karen was a prostitute. James first came to her for "business," but found that all he needed was to be held and fall asleep in a woman's arms. He never went any further. Karen had taken to him, and though only twenty-five, was the surrogate mother to him that he hadn't had since Melfina.  
  
But Karen had her own life and her own problems, and those problems reminded James that he couldn't just use her like a tool when he needed to feel a warm embrace, so he tried to return the love he was given. It seemed to him that he was helpless to return that love, though his attempts were greatly appreciated.  
  
Karen stopped sobbing and wiped her tears. She raised her head slowly and looked at James. They shared the pain that they saw in each other's eyes, and stared in silence for a little while. Then she kissed his forehead and rested her head on his chest. He lie back on the couch, checked that there was a knife in his jacket pocket, then wrapped his arms tightly around her and fell asleep.  
  
James woke up when the door was smashed in. Without thinking, he grabbed the knife from his jacket's pocket, gently rolled Karen off of him, and hid in a corner of the room. Karen awoke when a large figure stomped noisily into the room and bent his face down over her head.  
  
There was a quiet exchange between the two that ended with Karen's smacking the unidentified person. The figure took out his own blade just when James hit the lights. The figure, a large man, stumbled back a bit. James jumped him and brought his own knife a few millimeters away from his throat. "What are you doing here?"  
  
The man's voice became slightly arrogant. "I'm just here for business. She didn't give me full service last time, so I came back."  
  
"Bastard…" James muttered.  
  
"What?!" the man screamed. In a second, he was on top of James, whose knife had flown out of his hand. "…Wait…I know you… James Hawkwind! Seems I'll finally improve my reputation a bit!" He brought his knife down to James' neck, but stopped short of cutting all the way through his skin. Karen pushed him off, a fiery determination in her eyes. She pulled James' knife out of the man's back, wiped the blood off of it, and handed it back to him.   
  
James took it and massaged his neck. He pulled his hand off and stared at the blood on his fingers. "Was he the one that…"  
  
"…Yes."  
  
"What's his name?"  
  
Karen closed her eyes, as if trying to clear her mind. "Sleth."  
  
James nodded and went to the kitchen. He came back with a bandage on his neck. "Your door's split in half."  
  
Karen didn't seem to hear, or care. She was staring at the Sleth's body. "Jim…" she said suddenly, quietly, "Jim… I'm leaving Blue Heaven."  
  
James said nothing.  
  
"I've been saving up for a long time" she continued, "…and I managed to get two tickets off this godforsaken rock."  
  
"Two?" James asked, a little surprised.  
  
"Yes," she said, smiling suddenly. "I want you to come with me."  
  
James knelt down next to her. "What are you going to do when you get out of here?"  
  
Her smile thinned. "I don't know. Find a real job, I guess."  
  
James nodded. "When's the flight? I can be ready by this afternoon."  
  
Karen smiled again. "Not until next Tuesday."  
  
He nodded again, "Okay."


	5. The second door

Chapter 5  
  
James crept back into Bureck's apartment. He took off his shoes and tiptoed to the cashbox after making sure that the three Bandits who lay sprawled on the floor were sleeping. He pulled several thousand Wong out and went back to the door. He smiled at the three when he thought about the headaches they'd have when they woke up. His smile saddened, and he went to the kitchen, got glasses of water and aspirin and put one of each by each of their heads. He shut the door quietly and met Karen outside.   
  
They walked to the city, and got there around seven o'clock. They had breakfast at a small diner and James took Karen clothes shopping. He bought her a couple of outfits, and she thanked him profusely for them. They shopped for other things they thought they'd need for and after the trip, including some magazines, snacks, and bottles of water (the price of which had been steadily increasing).  
  
"Karen," Jim asked in the magazine aisle of a bookstore, "Where are we going?"  
  
"A newly discovered planet called Aaron Fifteen. Why?"  
  
"Just…you didn't tell me before."  
  
"Oh," she turned to him with a magazine in hand, "I'm sorry. You didn't ask earlier so I didn't remember to-"  
  
"It's okay. Do you want that?"  
  
She smiled. "Yeah… but… I'll buy it."  
  
"Okay."  
  
They continued on like this for the entire week, James buying Karen new clothes and Karen buying them things for the flight.  
  
They had lunch, then dinner, and checked into a cheap hotel every day that week. It was only thirty Wong a night, but the room James and Karen got was nicer than anything either of them had slept in at least four years.  
  
On the night before their departure, James closed his eyes and turned away while Karen changed into her pajamas (James had made sure to buy her oversized baggy pajamas that were totally unrevealing), and vice-versa while James changed into new boxers and a t-shirt. Both of them packed the items they were taking into newly purchased bags, brushed their teeth, made sure the door was locked, and then curled up in each other's arms. They fell asleep under the warm blankets of a real bed.  
  
James was surprised, when he woke up, that for the sixth time in a row, they hadn't been attacked during the night. He got dressed and brushed his teeth, and made sure everything was ready for their departure. Though his years of being basically alone and in constant danger had given him a tendency to lean towards spontaneity, his knack for careful planning never really left him. By the time Karen woke up, he had everything in order and was checking their inventory on his data pad.  
  
"Good morning, James," she said quietly, wiping sleep from her eyes.  
  
"'Morning."  
  
She smiled and got up. "I think that was the best sleep I've ever had."  
  
"Same."  
  
She went over to him and looked at him for a second. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Inventory."  
  
"Oh." She yawned. "Wanna get some breakfast?"  
  
James put down his data pad and nodded. "Alright."  
  
The two went down to the dining hall after Karen got dressed. They had a quick breakfast, then went back up to their room and got their stuff. They paid at the front of the hotel and went to the shuttle bay they would be departing from. Bureck, Roban and Krent intercepted them in front of it.  
  
James got in front of Karen protectively. "Hello."  
  
"Shut your shit-hole, you little thief!" Bureck shouted, his face red with pure rage. "You take all our money and spend it on some hooker, then leave aspirin out for us to mock us!"  
  
"I wasn't mocking you."  
  
"Just shut the hell up! You may be better than me, or Krent, or Roban, but you can't take the three of us on all at once!"  
  
A small crowd gathered around the two parties. There were some "Ooh"s as the three Bandits took out their knives, then "Ah!"s as James took a three-pointed knife in each hand.  
  
"You don't have to do this, Bureck. I'll give you a chance to back down."  
  
Bureck spat at James's feet. "I'll never back down. And certainly not from a runt like you!" He sprung at James, aiming for his chest with his knife. The two twins came at James from opposite sides. James ducked and spun to the side. The three attackers bumped heads mid-air where James used to be, and fell, just as James rolled out from under them. Karen stabbed Roban in the side and James stabbed Krent in the back while they were down. Bureck got up, gaped at his comrades' corpses, and angrily plunged his knife into James' throat. Or, he would have, had James not sidestepped him and kneed him in the chin. Bureck fell to the ground and James kicked him in the side. Krent suddenly got up, grinning.  
  
"Dammit. He's a cyborg." James dodged a small, sharp projectile shot from Krent's arm, then pulled a collapsible headset from his belt and quickly put it on. He flipped a view piece over his eye and scanned Krent.  
  
Karen looked at James, silently asking what to do. James jumped back, avoiding another of Krent's attacks, then shouted "The back of his neck!"  
  
Karen nodded and, with surprising speed, stabbed Krent in the back of the neck, twisting the knife and ripping it up and out. He convulsed, machinery, fluids, and blood spewing from his neck, and then collapsed.  
  
The crowd cheered. Two Blue Heaven guards came forward. "You're under arrest for fatal bodily harm to two citizens and serious injury to a third. Your accounts of manslaughter are diminished because they were acts of self defense, but…"  
  
James handed the guard one hundred Wong. "…but since you were attacked, three on two, I think it's obvious that you are not at all guilty. Good day."  
  
James stared after the guard, as he and his companion pulled the collapsed bodies away. "I'm so glad I'm leaving," he said suddenly to himself.  
  
Karen looked up at him. "Hmm?"  
  
James shook his head. "Nothing. Let's get going."  
  
The crowd separated in front of them as they ran for their shuttle, bags back in hand. They checked in with the sparse customs agents, who were paid off with several Wong when running James's caster rifle and other guns through. James and Karen entered the hanger, boarded their shuttle, and then settled down in two seats next to each other.  
  
James pulled out a bottle of water, and noticed how tense Karen was. "Relax. It's relatively safe."  
  
"I…I've only flown once before, and…it was too early…."  
  
James smiled as a fleeting memory entered his mind. "Haven't lost your space cherry, eh?" he mumbled.  
  
"James!" Karen's face reddened in embarrassment.  
  
"Sorry…" James's smile left and he grabbed her hand. She gripped it tightly. He smiled again.  
  
The flight began with the navigator's usual preamble, then the rocket blasted out of the hangar. James closed his eyes and withdrew into his own mind. He was so used to flying that even a period of being in relatively the same place for a while hadn't eliminated his being used to flying. He was aware that Karen was gripping his hand tighter and tighter as their speed increased. He felt like she would squeeze it off when he felt the sudden deployment of the sub-ether drive.  
  
He heard her raise a water bottle. "Don't."  
  
"Why?" she asked, taken a little by surprise, with a frightened edge to her voice.  
  
"You'll start to wretch."  
  
"…Oh…"  
  
James opened his eyes and looked at her. She gazed back. "We'll be fine," he smiled. "I've done this a hundred times. You'll get used to it eventually. You're lucky we're not in combat or anything…" his gaze slowly reached past her eyes as memories flooded back to him.  
  
"Jim!" Karen shook him. "You ok?"  
  
"I'm fine. Here…" he got a magazine from his bag beside the seat and gave it to her.   
  
" 'Veteran Spacer monthly'… " she read aloud from the cover. She flipped it open and started reading.  
  
James smiled and closed his eyes again. His thoughts turned to Clara. He  
  
imagined that she was sitting next to him, his hand in hers. Instinctively, he leaned on Karen's shoulder, thinking that she was Clara. She smiled and leaned her head on his. James smiled too, but was lost in his own imaginary world.   
  
Gene came over and mussed James's hair. "Gettin' smooth with the ladies, eh, Jimbo? Want me to get you reservations at the 'In Heat Hotel'? Or are you not man enough yet?"  
  
Clara blushed and James grinned. He grabbed Gene's arm and flipped him forward. Gene landed on the pillow beside them. James laughed, then Clara, then Gene joined in. Melfina walked in with bags of groceries. She put them down and turned to close the door. Gene got up, sneaked behind her, then grabbed her and kissed her passionately. Melfina giggled and returned the kiss. James turned to Clara, smiling brightly and laughing. Clara smiled back and ran her fingers along the side of his face. He leaned closer to her…  
  
James's eyes flew open and he sat up when a blaring alarm interrupted his dream. "This is your captain speaking. We are being pursued by a combat grappler…"  
  
"So, we've come out of sub-ether…" James muttered to himself. He turned to Karen, who looked positively frightened. His hand was still held tightly in hers.  
  
"…Please remain calm. We will try to negotiate with them, and while we do, everyone please make for the escape pods. We'll buy as much time as we can. Good luck."  
  
Red lights over the escape pod hatches illuminated abruptly, and the panicked passengers ran for them. Karen tugged James toward the nearest available pod after the two un-strapped themselves from their seats, and looked back in surprise when he started tugging her towards the cockpit. "What are you doing?!" she screamed above the excited passangers.  
  
"Trust me," James answered, unblinking.  
  
They fought the crowds, going in the opposite direction, to get to the front of the ship. The seats in the area around the cockpit were empty. Suddenly, the captain spoke again. "Everyone remain calm. The attacker has threatened to shoot any escape pods leaving the ship. Please stay onboard."  
  
After a pause, the captain continued, "Would a James Hawkwind please proceed to the cabin?"  
  
James smiled knowingly and knocked on the cockpit hatch. It opened, and the copilot beckoned the two in.  
  
"Hawkwind?" the copilot asked nervously. He was visibly shaken, and 'Why me?' was nearly written all over him.  
  
James nodded.  
  
"A 'Bureck' would like to speak to you."  
  
"Patch him in."  
  
The copilot looked at him a second, his head cocked to the side a bit, then turned and opened up a communications line.  
  
"James?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You damn piece of shit! I'm going to rip you limb from limb!"  
  
"Hello, Bureck."  
  
"You little… I'm gonna kill you… But since I don't want the police on my ass, I'm going to let everyone but you get off. So I'm going to keep talking, and you'd better keep answering, or I'm gonna start blastin' all the pods."  
  
"Alright, Bureck. Then what?"  
  
There was a moment of silence. "I uh… I guess I'll… I'll blow up the ship!"  
  
James grinned. "You never did think ahead."  
  
"SHUT UP! You won't be thinking at all after I'm through with you! Even if your brain survives, it'll have trouble in the freezing vacuum of space." Bureck guffawed, "And if it does make it through that, somehow, I'll end up blasting it anyway. So, who's the tramp?"  
  
"What 'tramp'?" James pulled out a piece of paper and beckoned for a pen. The captain gave him one. James started to write.  
  
"The chick that killed Krent!"  
  
"What do you mean? I thought you were unconscious." He finished writing and handed the paper to the captain. 'Got any weapons?' it read.  
  
"I….uh…."  
  
"Don't tell me you played dead! So, you were backing down!" James looked back over to the captain, who nodded slowly.  
  
The captain handed the paper back, on which he had written, 'Anti-asteroid missiles-why?'  
  
"Well, I knew I couldn't take you alone!"  
  
"Heh… always were a coward." James smiled and wrote 'Prep 'em' on the paper and handed it back. The captain looked at him questioningly (and somewhat disbelievingly), and James nodded.   
  
"You little shit… it's gonna feel so good to kill you."  
  
"I'm sure." The captain turned the ship to face Bureck's grappler.  
  
"Wha…what are you doing?!" Bureck demanded.  
  
"The captain says he needs to turn the ship like this in order to eject the rest of the pods. That ok?"  
  
"Oh…ok…"  
  
James gave the captain a thumbs-up and motioned for him to get out of his chair. The captain got out and saluted James, then left with the copilot.  
  
"What's going on, dammit? James, you better still be there."  
  
James sat down in the pilot's chair. "Yeah. The captain just left." Karen sat down next to him.  
  
"Ah… good. When the last pod has launches, I'll blow your ship into dust."  
  
James's hand hovered over the missile launch button, "I have a better idea. Karen and I will get into pods and fly over to you. Then maybe we can negotiate something."  
  
There was silence for a while. "How 'bout that Caster of yours? That would be a fine trophy…I mean… bartering… thing. For your life, I mean. And I want my money back, too."  
  
"Fine. We'll be there in a few minutes."  
  
James waited a while and then launched the missiles at the grappler's hatch.  
  
"Wait… you're coming in too fast! What are you-? Oh, god…" static.  
  
James shielded his eyes from the brilliant explosion. Heh, he thought, as stupid as he is greedy. He ran a check for pods and found that they had all departed and were sucked in by a nearby planet's gravity.  
  
Karen took her hands off of her eyes. She blinked and looked around. Then, she jumped out of her seat and hugged James around the neck. "You did it!"  
  
James smiled, but said nothing. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"But…" she pulled away, "now what?"  
  
"Well," he said, scratching the back of his neck, "I guess we have a new ship." 


	6. Demons of a past life

Chapter 6  
  
As James sat down at the controls of his new ship, it was to him as if his life had suddenly opened up. His pain was gone, his memories gone, and all that remained were an unbridled joy for being alive and a sense of adventure he had long forgotten.  
  
Karen noticed the change, but remained silent.  
  
James was able to negotiate with the navigation computer to continue towards Aaron Fifteen. Merely being at the controls of a spaceship and for the first time in a long time and being in control of his destiny made James truly happy. He smiled, then split into a grin and laughed.  
  
Aaron Fifteen was not too far from the area where they had encountered Bureck. James's expression of happiness retreated after they landed. He reverted back to a reserved, emotionless expression that had dominated his recent years. It saddened when he realized that he'd have to give his ship, his freedom, back to Space Travel Inc. James went to his seat, picked up both Karen's and his bags, and headed for the airlock. Karen followed silently, a mixed anxiety spread across her face.  
  
James was mildly surprised to see someone greet them when the door slid open. A man in a neat, black, expensive suit regarded them amusedly and motioned for them to exit. "Hello. Thank you for returning our ship."  
  
James's eyes hollowed. He nodded.  
  
The man then turned to Karen, stared at her for a second, and drew back in surprise. "Ms.…Ms. Luo! I can't believe it! We've found you!!"  
  
Karen gasped a little. "My god…" She grabbed James by the hand and sprinted down the catwalk stairs to the launch pad. The suited man stayed rooted, stunned.  
  
James held tightly onto Karen's hand and pulled both of them to a stop. "What was that about?"  
  
Karen looked at James, and he read unmistakable fear in her eyes. "Later. Run!"  
  
James was again pulled along, but he gave in for the time being.  
  
Karen soon slowed when she realized that she didn't know where she was and that she hadn't the slightest idea where to go. Suddenly, James remembered. "Luo… Like Fred Luo?"  
  
Karen stopped looking around and turned again to James. "How do you…?"  
  
"I've dealt with him before. I've met him. He… he uh, had a… thing for Aniki…"  
  
Karen had a look of utter defeat. "…You're kidding…"  
  
James was a little puzzled. "No… are you related to him?  
  
Karen turned away. "He's my brother."  
  
James stepped back a little. "Wha?!"  
  
"Yeah…" And with that, she decided on a direction and pulled him along with her.  
  
This was getting to be too much for James. The heavy terra-formation machinery on either side of him flew past him, unnoticed. The past he had been trying to forget and move on from for the past five years had come back. With the mention of the name Luo, a multitude of emotions, feelings, and most importantly, memories, bombarded him. He didn't notice the black car pulling up along side them, or one of its doors opening. He barely felt himself being yanked in. When he turned to look at the person sitting next to him, it was all he could do to keep from screaming. Fred Luo stared back at him, eyes brimming with tears.  
  
"James!" he cried, and flung his arms around the boy.   
  
James was too stunned to respond. More memories flashed past his eyes. And finally, time seemed to slow down, and he snapped.  
  
"You're so big! And so handsome! Oh, what a shame that I wasn't there to see you growing up! James… what…?"  
  
James had pulled out a gun from his jacket, put it to his head, closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger.  
  
Bang.

* * *

sorry to leave you hanging here, of all places. i assure you, the story continues. however, i haven't gotten very far into chapter 7 and need to resume my thinking about where the story will go from here. in fact i may leave it right here. please review, telling me whether to end it or make the wounded horse keep running : /

i'll listen, i promise.


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